A shocking truth: there is no greater critique for women than women. As much as it reality that men may still have double standards on various issues when it comes to women, femininity, gender etc. You won’t find a greater adjudicator than women over woman. We judge each other constantly:
-if you are too sexual you are a whore;
– if you are too career minded you are not maternal;
-if you dress a certain way you lack self respect;
-if you are “too” friendly with males you seek attention,
– if you are too successful you are neglecting friends/family;
-if you don’t want kids then God forbid you call yourself a woman…endlessly..
No other group imposes confusion on a females identity and her true sense of self than the opinions and ridicule of other women. With women being more socially knit in an interdependent way (generally), more so than men, this creates a conflict of belonging vs fitting in. On one end support from the very group that accepts you when you fit in with the norm of whats expected but are quick to ridicule & alienate you as soon as you are “different”. Yet many of these women have the desire for individuality & personal expression that they crave without the judgement they impose on others! Publicly women we condemn each other for choosing to be ourselves yet privately wish for emancipation.
These labels and rigid expectations despite years of feminism continue to be dominant moulds that want to limit phenomenal women into a box of what’s “acceptable” to other women [more so than men]. If you look at it, these same standards applied for women by women are not applied to men as well. Men: they can be as sexual as their libidos allow (boys will be boys) and career focused as they wish (man must provide) but what of the equality we preach of? Shouldn’t the woman freely do all she feels she is capable, or are we as women waiting for permission to say it’s ok to support one another…that until then, we are ridiculing one another waiting for approval to say ‘women unite’.
From the way I see it. As much as gender is an issue among men and women. Women vs women is a big part of the problem that needs to be addressed as well… (Thoughts && a little rant on the Go..)
When a well put together lady walks past you made up and walking tall (heels) and she doesn’t stop to say hi, or flash a smile, she isn’t always rude, sometimes it’s pain!!
Since I became 22 I have been challenging myself to be more feminine. For me this means I want to wear heels more often: make myself up; perfumed- coiffured, my nails groomed & painted; a level slightly beyond basic hygene. I’ve decided that having been tomboyish most of my life I now want to explore my feminine, sensual groomed side a little more. Being a gemini I call it giving my twin a chance.
So, one of the changes I have made is that here & there I wear heels more frequently. They usually hurt or are so uncomfortable that I can barely think beyond reminding myself how to walk. I sometimes have to mentally recite- left leg up, step forward, right leg up, step forward , – repeat-!
Today, I later realised that as I had walked past the guard at work, one whom I normally acknowledge and say “hi” to. On this occasion, I had diva’d past him with nary a glance. Hopefully he’ll forgive that I forgot the friendly hello because despite my confident facade, the feigned calm and composed elegance in my gaint as I went about my business, I was actually mentally consumed with calculating the perfect formula to achieve balance so as to stay upright & grounded while trying to walk on what felt like stilts! At that moment, running through my mind were calculations of the angle at which to step on to avoid stumbling, the timing of the next step to avoid a sprained ankle, it was brain work overload.
When I finally made it to my desk, I thought of how many other ladies possibly shared daily experiences like mine (I commend you Victoria Beckham- who I doubt owns a pair of flat shoes). The thought of other women possibly going through the same thing made me laugh because I then thought that maybe some of the women (& men) I’ve walked past who can barely smile or acknowledge you when they are looking haaawt in heels may simply just be suffering silently (let’s not even start on possible bunions & shortened calf muscles). Of course there is the possibility that they just don’t give a rat’s toosh about you, and wouldn’t acknowledge you even in uggs or wellies, but the former version is funnier and relatable in my head and I just thought I’d share this random thought 😘