I develop through my connections, I need them to centre me. They all push in different directions but towards the centre where they balance to hold me up. Like a tripod but with more legs. When one of these legs shift, it leaves my world limping, imbalanced and struggling to stay upright.
I listened to a lady talking about a journey her sister had fighting with cancer. She spoke of their relationship, theirs had been one of love, jealousy, friendship, sisterhood and more, a relationship typical of siblings. Overtime it had become clouded and the truth of emotions, thoughts and opinions had been lost between them. This lady explained how during the course of her sister’s treatment it came to light that she would need a bone marrow transplant. The lady was a match for her sister. and would donate. One of the potential side effects following the procedure could be a rejection of the lady’s bone marrow by her sister’s system. So she suggested and they agreed on therapy in order to air their differences and be ‘soul clean’ before they made the transplant. The power of belief that clean “blood” between them would bring good energy to the surgery giving her sister a better chance of taking to the transplant… It worked.
From this narrative, the timing of their transparency with one another was highlighted. It took a major life event for them to seek a path of reparation. This lady spoke of layers that we adopt as humans as we evolve through life to a point where we no longer truly express ourselves to one another, our important loved ones. How we no longer seek to offer truth and hear it back allowing for understanding, trust, better connections and a way forward in our relationships. In some cases, over time our relationships with those we love can become strained, and infected by gradual issues that we may be blind to or choose not to respond to. The more these seep in the less we are willing to engage and resolve them and the more these connections are damaged, the more we feel out of balance. The legs that hold us up start to crumble underneath us.
At times it is painful to address difficult aspects in relationships, but the pain, like delivering a child allows you to birth new life to your relationships. As opposed to the ladies who had to address her relationship due to circumstance, how much more improved might our connections be if we opened up to others truthfully and also sought the truth from them? How much sweeter our relationships might if this is an avenue we become willing to explore especially where we have the time.
We often recite the old age adage of how life is too short, but what does that mean if not for investing in our people. Beyond the lives we build for ourselves, our connections ultimately infuse our soul, is attention too high a price?
1. No, it’s not gossip, when I speak about my life it’s told to those who will respect it. It happened to me. It made me feel. It changed me. It’s real, it means more.
2. Yes, I have always been independent. Yes, I can be alone. I am comfortable in my silence, in my own company.
3. No, I haven’t been as spiritual as I would have liked to be. My relationship with God needs work. I am grateful for all he continues to do in my life.
4. Yes, I am happy career wise. I feel I am in the place I should be right now.
5. No, I no dont harbour regret or hurt over life as it’s happened thus far. I reflect and learn and continue to grow.
6. Yes, I value my family and friends more. They are the extentions of me that help me take in more of life.
7. No, I haven’t done as well as I would have hoped with my finances (that now leaves room for improvement).
8. Yes, I have accepted who I am at present, I embrace all of me and positively work on the pieces of me that could be polished.
9. No, I still haven’t rejoined the gym.
10. Yes, I am open and happy to love. Happy to learn. Happy to feel. Happy to grow. I’m ready.
When a well put together lady walks past you made up and walking tall (heels) and she doesn’t stop to say hi, or flash a smile, she isn’t always rude, sometimes it’s pain!!
Since I became 22 I have been challenging myself to be more feminine. For me this means I want to wear heels more often: make myself up; perfumed- coiffured, my nails groomed & painted; a level slightly beyond basic hygene. I’ve decided that having been tomboyish most of my life I now want to explore my feminine, sensual groomed side a little more. Being a gemini I call it giving my twin a chance.
So, one of the changes I have made is that here & there I wear heels more frequently. They usually hurt or are so uncomfortable that I can barely think beyond reminding myself how to walk. I sometimes have to mentally recite- left leg up, step forward, right leg up, step forward , – repeat-!
Today, I later realised that as I had walked past the guard at work, one whom I normally acknowledge and say “hi” to. On this occasion, I had diva’d past him with nary a glance. Hopefully he’ll forgive that I forgot the friendly hello because despite my confident facade, the feigned calm and composed elegance in my gaint as I went about my business, I was actually mentally consumed with calculating the perfect formula to achieve balance so as to stay upright & grounded while trying to walk on what felt like stilts! At that moment, running through my mind were calculations of the angle at which to step on to avoid stumbling, the timing of the next step to avoid a sprained ankle, it was brain work overload.
When I finally made it to my desk, I thought of how many other ladies possibly shared daily experiences like mine (I commend you Victoria Beckham- who I doubt owns a pair of flat shoes). The thought of other women possibly going through the same thing made me laugh because I then thought that maybe some of the women (& men) I’ve walked past who can barely smile or acknowledge you when they are looking haaawt in heels may simply just be suffering silently (let’s not even start on possible bunions & shortened calf muscles). Of course there is the possibility that they just don’t give a rat’s toosh about you, and wouldn’t acknowledge you even in uggs or wellies, but the former version is funnier and relatable in my head and I just thought I’d share this random thought 😘