Following two interesting catch up conversations with a couple of my girlfriends, I now fully stand by my opinion that the African man is boldly forward in his approach to courting than any other man I have yet encountered.
As an African woman, I have always preferred a man to pursue me, to make it explicit that he is interested AND to follow through and act on it. If you have ever been to Africa and encountered the mosquito; a brave, risk taking, perseverrant and determined insect which despite likely swatting in its attempt to bite humans, remains tenacious in its pursuit. The same determination has been what I have always been used to in my men. They relentlessly make it known they are interested even to the point of almost removing your option to decline their advances (a weirdly flattering stage just before harassment). You may play hard to get, in some cases genuinely not be interested but they are determined and confident to the extent that you start doubting your choice to decline their advances. You start questioning whether there is something more to him that you are missing and if luck has him, he’ll charm you… #Win!
Now my experience and observations suggests men are wary of women, or is it rejection they are avoiding? I understand times-a-changing and society is accepting of either sex dominantly making their interest known (if repeating Sex & The City Episodes over & over taught me nothing else, it was this!) but call me traditional; I love the feeling of the hunt, the chase and the desire of courting.
Is it a cultural difference African compared to western, or just a generational thing that courting is now open for grabs? It’s almost disappointing that romance and courting is a scarce practice, almost a thing of the past. In its stead, Internet romance, Netflix and chill, situationships and more. Is it just me who misses the old ways of dating? Is dating a thing of the past? When it comes to dating- Are we evolving past courtship?
When a well put together lady walks past you made up and walking tall (heels) and she doesn’t stop to say hi, or flash a smile, she isn’t always rude, sometimes it’s pain!!
Since I became 22 I have been challenging myself to be more feminine. For me this means I want to wear heels more often: make myself up; perfumed- coiffured, my nails groomed & painted; a level slightly beyond basic hygene. I’ve decided that having been tomboyish most of my life I now want to explore my feminine, sensual groomed side a little more. Being a gemini I call it giving my twin a chance.
So, one of the changes I have made is that here & there I wear heels more frequently. They usually hurt or are so uncomfortable that I can barely think beyond reminding myself how to walk. I sometimes have to mentally recite- left leg up, step forward, right leg up, step forward , – repeat-!
Today, I later realised that as I had walked past the guard at work, one whom I normally acknowledge and say “hi” to. On this occasion, I had diva’d past him with nary a glance. Hopefully he’ll forgive that I forgot the friendly hello because despite my confident facade, the feigned calm and composed elegance in my gaint as I went about my business, I was actually mentally consumed with calculating the perfect formula to achieve balance so as to stay upright & grounded while trying to walk on what felt like stilts! At that moment, running through my mind were calculations of the angle at which to step on to avoid stumbling, the timing of the next step to avoid a sprained ankle, it was brain work overload.
When I finally made it to my desk, I thought of how many other ladies possibly shared daily experiences like mine (I commend you Victoria Beckham- who I doubt owns a pair of flat shoes). The thought of other women possibly going through the same thing made me laugh because I then thought that maybe some of the women (& men) I’ve walked past who can barely smile or acknowledge you when they are looking haaawt in heels may simply just be suffering silently (let’s not even start on possible bunions & shortened calf muscles). Of course there is the possibility that they just don’t give a rat’s toosh about you, and wouldn’t acknowledge you even in uggs or wellies, but the former version is funnier and relatable in my head and I just thought I’d share this random thought 😘
I am a lady in my 20s. 1 of two children. I’m a Gemini. Out-doorsy, sporty sort of girl, who has a special skill of disappearing here and there to finish a novel in a day (if it’s that good) or watch marathon TV.
I try to stay healthy, respect my elders but curse a mean streak at bad drivers of all ages on any given day. I have a love for all things foreign ;). My idea of relaxation oft includes a good drink in a far away place.
I’m more often than not a liberal, but will wage war for gender equality all day- everyday 🙂 – a feminist some might say. Christian is also another identity of mine, along with psychologist by education.
I’m blogging because I find it easy to express myself through words & I wanted to Ink my Thoughts & share some of me with the world (bloggersphere). What you may find also is a bag of contradictions.
You’ll get to know me better as the posts roll in.