Life · Motivational · Random

Quarter century … I’m ready


1. No, it’s not gossip, when I speak about my life it’s told to those who will respect it. It happened to me. It made me feel. It changed me. It’s real, it means more.

2. Yes, I have always been independent. Yes, I can be alone. I am comfortable in my silence, in my own company. 

3. No, I haven’t been as spiritual as I would have liked to be. My relationship with God needs work. I am grateful for all he continues to do in my life.

4. Yes, I am happy career wise. I feel I am in the place I should be right now.

5. No, I no dont harbour regret or hurt over life as it’s happened thus far. I reflect and learn and continue to grow.

6. Yes, I value my family and friends more. They are the extentions of me that help me take in more of life.

7. No, I haven’t done as well as I would have hoped with my finances (that now leaves room for improvement).

8. Yes, I have accepted who I am at present, I embrace all of me and positively work on the pieces of me that could be polished.

9. No, I still haven’t rejoined the gym. 

10.  Yes, I am open and happy to love. Happy to learn. Happy to feel. Happy to grow. I’m ready.

Life · Motivational

Alone Together..

  
Thinking about a movie I found hilarious as a child ‘Dinner for one’. A movie about a 90 year old cebrating her birthday. She had a dinner table set for herself and friends, sadly they had all passed. That is how she found herself eating alone with only her butler who was waiting on her for company.

This got me thinking, a lot of the time people are afraid to do things unless they have someone else with them. But think of all the great opportunities you could miss.  

Most people consider the point that it may be perceived as sad or friendless to try things alone. But is it not courage, could we not look at it as independence and strength?

Personally I used to not want to be seen to do things alone because of the message it might send. But now with or without anyone, I simply live. 

_____x_____

(Life happens while you’re busy planning)

Life

Kurrently Unaveylabol…(Unplugging) 

In support of the post titled Unplugging by HartHelps, I decided to write my own. The author struck close to my heart with this topic.

With our lives revolving more and more around technology and becoming reliant on it. I find myself wishing at times that we could slow down. While phones, computers etc have made it possible to stay connected. I personally find myself frustrated when emails/texts/notifications endlessly flood my screen. I don’t hate communication but I also need down time; to think, meditate or simply read a book, be quiet and recoup.

Being an extroverted introvert I can function socially, but, more often than not I need time to be alone. I’m often told off for not having my phone or being unavailable. However, it is just a matter of preference that I not always be slave to my gadgets. Now, I make it a habit to have a no phone day at least once a week; its necessary to unplug.

We must not hold each other hostage to the obligation of round the clock communication (if only for the reason we’ll fast run out of things to talk about… think about it ;).

Life · Love & Related Emotions

The African Man’s Pursuit…

after two very interesting catch up conversations with a couple of my girlfriends, I fully stand by my opinion that the African man is boldly forward in his approach to courting than any other man I have yet encountered. 

As a woman; an African woman I have always preferred a man to pursue me, to make it explicit that he is interested AND to follow through and act on it. If you have ever been to Africa and encountered the mosquito; a brave, risk taking, perseverrant and determined insect which despite likely swatting in its attempt to bite humans, is tenacious in its pursuit. The same determination has been what I have always been used to in my men. They relentlessly make it known they are interested even to the point of almost removing your option to decline their advances (a weirdly flattering stage just before harassment). You may play hard to get, in some cases genuinely not be interested but they are determined and confident to the extent that you start doubting yourself. You start questioning whether there is something more to him you are missing and if luck has him, he’ll charm you…

What a culture shock it has been though that now my experience seems men are almost wary of women, or is it rejection they are avoiding? Also, I understand times-a-changing and society is accepting of  either sex dominantly making their interest known (if repeating Sex & The City Episodes over & over taught me nothing else, it was this!) but call me traditional; I love the feeling of the hunt, the chase and the desire.

Is it a cultural difference or just a generational thing that courting is now open for grabs? It’s almost disappointing that romance and courting is a scarce practice, almost a thing of the past. In its stead, Internet romance, Netflix and chill, situationships and more. Is it just me who misses the old ways of dating?  Is dating a thing of the past? I thought I’d ask of others: when it comes to dating-  Are we evolving past courtship? 

Life

“Are we growing wiser, are we just growing taller?” – Damien Marley  


There’s something about growing older that starts to focus your perspectives, choices, desires. You become more aware and more secure of yourself and what you want. But my problem had been that some of the people and relationships I had along the way didn’t fit in my life quite the way they used to anymore, && others had chosen paths that I didn’t fit into either. It held me back some because I found myself stuck between who I was for the sake of preserving history and who I’m becoming. I felt stifled in growth and lost.

Today however enlightened my view when I came across a post saying “take what you can get (what people are willing to give) and forgive the rest”. I took this to mean we are all our own people and sometimes we impose obligation on each other. Yet I shouldn’t expect someone to feel obligated to accommodate me; my desires, my choices, to an extent that they stifle themselves and in turn they shouldn’t expect me to either. Of course there are some do or die instances BUT as life evolves so do relationships. Some grow stronger some fade out and some simply change in their nature. Accepting this now I’m able to be who I am, to allow myself permission to my own choices and trust that everything else will fall into place and I’ll fit in exactly where I can, where I belong importantly where MY choices take me.

This seemingly simple realisation has been conceptualised in so many ways in my head, to the point of confusion; up until this point it had me reeling, yet the simple solution is to let life be. Grow and allow new chapters into your life. As much as I was anxious about my relationships so are others about their own. So simply: enjoy what others have to offer and give only what you can, free yourself from obligation and be open to possibilities. Let life be what it will be…

Travel

To the ends of the Earth.1

TRAVEL

IMG_2771So recently I travelled to Portugal (Portimao) it was a beautiful trip. Flew in to Faro, were i greeted people cheerfully with Bom Dia (good day) swiftly followed by -I don’t speak Portuguese- “yo no fal Portuguese”  (eu não falo português) scared that the locals would  engage in conversation with me in a language I could only nod blankly at 🙈. In all the journey took about 5 hours from the plane , shuttle to the hotel and I gaped on like the excited tourist I was despite having risen at 4.30 am – military style.

Once landed and checked in one of the first things we did was look for food.  After having salivated like starved dogs at the scent of over priced hot paninis on the plane which my frugal evil conscience refused to let me buy, my appetite was on steroids & no longer willing to be ignored.

FOOD 

 

Being naive tourists we (my girlfriends & I) agreed to try the very first restaurant we came across because of free wifi promises & hunger of course but mostly wifi. The man in the street ushered us into his restaurant under the impression that this was the Mecca of broadband connection and only he could provide us to the key…(later we came to know wifi was no added incentive, every restaurant there had it, free!)   Anyhoo, the food was good and fresh (no one does wine and fine dining like the Portuguese -ok maybe the French and Italian but a little competition never hurt…hehe).

 

On a serious note: never! I repeat never! Seriously, do not eat Portuguese chicken! (if by some coincidence you are there now ordering chicken, change it;  If you’ve already ordered: I can only now sympathise and offer my commiserations)! It’s the one thing I found could not be cooked to my liking in Portugal. Instead, I recommend you try swordfish especially at Atlantis on the Prai da Rocha beach promenade. Here, the swordfish steak was cooked to perfection served with capers, a succulent sauce which I cannot name and sides of fries and vegetables. The steak was tender and melted in your mouth, the sauce tangy but not over powering the vegetables adante and unsurprising but a nice balance to the explosion of flavour going on with the meal. The rabbit (also off the same menus at Atlantis) was a competing second or a first choice if you aren’t a fish lover.

WEATHER

IMG_3028
“This is winter” they continuously reminded us. All water sports, most restaurants, most hotels were “closed till March”. We went in December. Regardless we still had plenty to see and do. We met some amazing gentlemen who took us out to sea on their boat, we visited some glorious diving sites and learnt about their underground caves. These caves had formed over years and have now become famous tourist sites were you can go diving  & surface inside a cave, breathing freely without a mask on standing on dry ground yet fully submerged in the deep blue with only a wall of cave rock holding the sea at bay, spectacular! We also managed to go swimming and skinny dipping for a couple of days. The sea was warmer than the locals made it out to be; but funny enough the outdoor pool at the hotel was too cold, freezing even, so avoid stagnant water swims. But overall for a December vacation the weather was fair & at night a shawl would suffice as it can get a little chilly.

PEACE OF MIND

What I really enjoyed most though was the peaceful vibe and energy I got from Portugal, life is stress-less and simple. The people were welcoming and helpful always willing to converse and share a moment. Here, it seemed life happened at a slower pace were people took time to really appreciate the day, they seemed so tuned in to life it was infectious and beautiful to see. I breathed, I slowed down; I took life in. The atmosphere was oh so healing in comparison to bustle of  England. I truly felt happy ☺️.

Overall I enjoyed the vacation and the time spent with my girlfriends! I would recommend this location to anyone. If it’s the culture you seek visit during the less busy times when it’s more of the locals about. Visit Ferragudo… Portimao, Prai da Rocha beach (really beautiful). For a livlier time and party experience go in the summer (May to August) when you can sky dive and water ski around the July month. Either way, Portimao is a place to see, the surrounding Lagos and Guia towns as well. I hope to go back & I recommend others try it as well. Portimao, Portugal; a slice of heaven.