Posted in Life, Motivational, Random

Quarter century … I’m ready


1. No, it’s not gossip, when I speak about my life it’s told to those who will respect it. It happened to me. It made me feel. It changed me. It’s real, it means more.

2. Yes, I have always been independent. I can be alone. I have travelled solo and been ok (Dora since 2014). I am comfortable in my silence, in my own company. 

3. No, I haven’t been as spiritual as I would have liked to be. My relationship with God needs work. I am grateful for all he continues to do in my life.

4. Yes, I am happy career wise. I feel I am in the place I should be right now.

5. No, I no dont harbour regret or hurt over life as it’s happened thus far. I reflect and learn and continue to grow.

6. Yes, I value my family and friends more. They are the extentions of me that help me take in more of life.

7. No, I haven’t done as well as I would have hoped with my finances (that now leaves room for improvement).

8. Yes, I have accepted who I am at present, I embrace all of me and positively work on the pieces of me that could be polished.

9. No, I still haven’t rejoined the gym. 

10.  Yes, I am open and happy to love. Happy to learn. Happy to feel. Happy to grow. I’m ready.

Posted in Life, Motivational

Alone Together..

  
Thinkin about a movie I found hilarious as a child ‘Dinner for one’. It’s about a 90 year old cebrating her birthday. She had a dinner table set for herself and friends, sadly they had all passed. That’s how she found herself eating alone with only her butler who was waiting on her for company.

This got me thinking, a lot of the time people are afraid to try things unless they have someone else to try with them. But think of all the great opportunities you could miss. For example, this lady in the movie who had reached 90; a milestone to be celebrated! Should she not have celebrated her years of life simply because there was nolonger anyone there to celebrate with her?

Typically,  I understand that we all want and have people willing to do things with us. But what of those circustances that no one is there? Would you choose then to miss out on life and opportunities ? What of those who have no one, should they not live? 

Most people consider the point that it may be perceived as sad or friendless to try things alone. But, is it not courage? Could we not look at it as independence and strength.

Personally I used to not want to be seen to do things alone because of the message it might send. But to be honest with or without anyone, now, I simply live…

Posted in Life

It’s the little things…

  
I remember one day when I was quite young maybe 5 or 6. I wanted to be ambidextrous and my sekuru (grandfather in the Shona language) was teaching me to write with my left hand. After a while as often happened, the lesson evolved and it turned into a handwriting session instead. I remember we were sat outside in the sun at an old desk and kitchen chairs. He said something in passing which in the past week I have taken on as a valuable lesson. He told me “you must always dot your ‘i’ and cross your ‘t’.

At the time this didn’t resonate much with me. I didn’t quite get the importance of what he was saying. Now I understand it to have been a simple but vital lesson in attention to detail, commitment and purposefulness. “How?” you might ask, well…

1. to dot your ‘i’ is almost unnecessary because almost always the implication of the full letter is there. However without the dot, the letter is incomplete, a short cut. Your sentence will always make sense but it’s not quite right… Lacking full execution, cutting corners which may not seem important in writing but who is to say it’s not a habit that will grace everything else you do? 

2. Again dotting your ‘i’ or taking the time to cross your ‘t’. That’s a purposefulness where you are taking note of the finer details, taking pride in producing wholesome work. A lesson in meticulous execution. The attention to detail that you must have when proofing your work to see where the ‘i’ is not dotted and the ‘t’ is not crossed. Imagine how useful that practice of self analysis can have either in life, in the job you have now, the exams you write etc. Usually, it’s the small mistakes that can take away focus from the credibility of your work or the value of a presentation.

I often think that its in small everyday actions that habits are founded. Therefore being purposeful, thorough and paying attention to detail can have an impact on all you do. How you appear, how you interact, and many other facets of life. Even biblically “it’s the small foxes that spoil the vine”. So weeding out imperfections can go a long way to bettering your general conduct. All these qualities potentially developed from a simple habit in one area of your life that can become an influence in how you operate. 

Now… *Stop Sign* slow down before you go back dotting and crossing every work you ever produced. This is simply an interpretation of spoken words and me taking a deeper meaning from them. I often find lessons in nothing sometimes, but maybe with this one, I may be onto something? Thoughts?

Posted in Life

Kurrently Unaveylabol…(Unplugging) 

In support of the post titled Unplugging by HartHelps, I decided to write my own. The author struck close to my heart with this topic.

With our lives revolving more and more around technology and becoming reliant on it. I find myself wishing at times that we could slow down. While phones, computers etc have made it possible to stay connected. I personally find myself frustrated when emails/texts/notifications endlessly flood my screen. I don’t hate communication but I also need down time; to think, meditate or simply read a book, be quiet and recoup.

Being an extroverted introvert I can function socially, but, more often than not I need time to be alone. I’m often told off for not having my phone or being unavailable. However, it is just a matter of preference that I not always be slave to my gadgets. Now, I make it a habit to have a no phone day at least once a week; its necessary to unplug.

We must not hold each other hostage to the obligation of round the clock communication (if only for the reason we’ll fast run out of things to talk about… think about it ;).

Posted in Life, Love & Related Emotions

The African Man’s Pursuit…

  after two very interesting catch up conversations with a couple of my girlfriends, I fully stand by my opinion that the African man in Africa is boldly forward in their approach to courting than any other man I have yet encountered. 

As a woman; an African woman I have always preferred a man to pursue me, to make it explicit that he is interested AND to follow through and act on it. If you have ever been to Africa and encountered the mosquito; a brave, risk taking, perseverrant and determined insect that despite likely swatting in its attempt to bite humans, it is tenacious in its pursuit. That has been what I have always been used to in my men. They will relentlessly make it known they are interested even to the point of almost removing your option to decline their advances (a weirdly flattering stage just before harassment ). They are determined to the point that you doubt yourself, You  start questioning why he is so confident, and you even start thinking that there  just maybe something more to him you are missing. 

What a culture shock it has been though that now my experience seems men are almost wary of a woman, or is it rejection they are avoiding, who told them we bite? 

I fully understand times-a-changing and society is accepting of  either sex dominantly making their interest known (if repeating Sex & The City Episodes over & over taught me nothing else, it was this!) but call me traditional; I love the feeling of the hunt, the chase and the desire. Is it a cultural difference or just a generational thing that courting is now open for grabs and I’m lagging behind? It’s almost disappointing that romance play is a scarce practice, almost a thing of the past. In its stead, Internet romance has blossomed were interest is filtered from behind a screen, yet I find myself missing personal & vis-a-via interactions. Is it just me who misses tIhe old ways of dating? Why won’t we take a chance & strike up a conversation with a stranger and give the opportunity for love a chance?! Or is this a thing of the past? I thought I’d and ask of others: when it comes to dating- 

Are we evolving past courtship? 

Posted in Life

“Are we growing wiser, are we just growing taller?” – Damien Marley  

  
  There’s something about growing older that starts to focus your perspectives, choices, desires. You become more aware and more secure of yourself and what you want. But my problem had been that some of the people and relationships I had along the way didn’t fit in my life quite the way they used to anymore, && others had chosen paths that I didn’t fit into either. It held me back some because I found myself stuck between who I was for the sake of preserving history and who I’m becoming. I felt stifled in growth and lost. 

Today however enlightened my view when I came across a post saying “take what you can get (what people are willing to give) and forgive the rest”. I took this to mean we are all our own people and sometimes we impose obligation on each other and I shouldn’t expect someone to feel obliged to accommodate me; my desires, my choices, to an extent that they stifle themselves and in turn they shouldn’t expect of me to. Of course there are some do or die instances BUT As life evolves so do relationships. Some grow stronger some fade out and some simply change in their nature. Accepting this now I’m able to be who I am, to allow myself permission to my own choices and trust that everything else will fall into place and I’ll fit in exactly where I can, where I belong importantly where MY choices take me. 

This seemingly simple realisation has been conceptualised in so many ways in my head, to the point of confusion; up until this point it had me reeling, yet the simple solution is to let life be. Grow and allow new chapters into your life. As much as I was anxious about my relationships so are others about their own. So Simply: enjoy what others have to offer and give only what you can, free yourself from obligation and be open to possibilities. Let life be what it will be…

Posted in Travel

To the ends of the Earth.1

TRAVEL

IMG_2771So recently I travelled to Portugal (Portimao) it was a beautiful trip. Flew in to Faro, were i greeted people cheerfully with Bom Dia (good day) swiftly followed by -I don’t speak Portuguese- “yo no fal Portuguese”  (eu não falo português) scared that the locals would  engage in conversation with me in a language I could only nod blankly at 🙈. In all the journey took about 5 hours from the plane , shuttle to the hotel and I gaped on like the excited tourist I was despite having risen at 4.30 am – military style. 

Once landed and checked in one of the first things we did was look for food.  After having salivated like starved dogs at the scent of over priced hot paninis on the plane which my frugal evil conscience refused to let me buy, my appetite was on steroids & no longer willing to be ignored.

FOOD 

 

Being naive tourists we (my girlfriends & I) agreed to try the very first restaurant we came across because of free wifi promises & hunger of course but mostly wifi. The man in the street ushered us into his restaurant under the impression that this was the Mecca of broadband connection and only he could provide us to the key…(later we came to know wifi was no added incentive, every restaurant there had it, free!)  anyhoo..The food was good and fresh (no one does wine and fine dining like the Portuguese -ok maybe the French and Italian but a little competition never hurt…hehe :P) On the flip side: never I repeat never…seriously do not eat Portuguese chicken! (if by some coincidence you are there now ordering chicken, change it;  If you’ve already ordered: I can only now sympathise and offer my commiserations)! It’s the one thing I found could not be cooked to my liking in Portugal. I recommend you try swordfish instead especially at Atlantis on the Prai da Rocha beach promenade. The swordfish steak was cooked to perfection served with capers; a succulent sauce which I cannot name and sides of fries and vegetables. The steak was tender and melted in your mouth…the sauce tangy but not over powering the vegetables adante and unsurprising but a nice balance to the explosion of flavour going on with the meal… only at #Atlantis. The rabbit also off the same menus was a competing second or a first choice if you aren’t a fish lover…

WEATHER

IMG_3028
“This is winter” they continuously reminded us. All water sports, most restaurants, most hotels were “closed till March”. Regardless we still had plenty to see and do. We met some amazing gentlemen who took us out on their boat to sea, to some glorious diving sites and underground caves.. These had formed over years and have now become famous tourist sites were you can go diving  & surface inside a cave, breathing freely without a mask on dry ground yet fully immersed in the deep blue with only a wall of cave rock holding the sea at bay, spectacular! We also managed to go swimming and skinny dipping for a couple of days, the sea was warmer than the locals made it out to be; but funny enough the outdoor pool at the hotel was too cold, freezing even, so avoid stagnant water swims. But overall for a December vacation the weather was fair & at night a shawl would suffice as it canget a little chilly.

PEACE OF MIND

What I really enjoyed most though was the peaceful vibe and energy I got from Portugal, life is stress-less and simple. The people were welcoming and helpful always willing to converse and share a moment; it seemed life happened at a slower pace were people took time to really appreciate the day, they seem so tuned in to life it was infectious and beautiful to see, and I breathed, I slowed down; I took life in. The atmosphere was oh so healing in comparison to bustle of  England. I truly felt happy ☺️.

Overall I enjoyed the vacation and the time spent with my girlfriends! I would recommend this location to anyone. If it’s the culture you seek to go in the less busier times when it’s more of the locals about. Visit Ferragudo… Portimao, Prai da Rocha beach (really beautiful). For a livlier time and party experience go in the summer (May to August).. With sky diving, water skiing around the July months. Either way it’s a place to see and surrounding Lagos and Guia towns as well. I hope to go back & I recommend others try it as well. Portimao, Portugal; a slice of heaven.